As a follow-on from last week's post, I was talking to one of my loves, about how I already knew that I was falling in love in this new relationship. We had a long talk about my emotions, how I was feeling, and she included a few points that I would really love to talk about. What they mean for me, I am still not completely sure on, but here we go.
The concept that we talked about wasn't falling into love, but rather, Rising into love. I had never heard of this idea, and found it to be rather fascinating. Falling, has a hard stop at the end, there's a lot of flapping of the arms, trying to desperately grab onto something to keep from falling. You may even grab the person that you are falling with, and pull them down with you. Falling ends in crushing, falling on them or them falling on you.
Rising, on the other hand, has a sense of growth, of moving forward, of reaching for the stars. It's a much more considered thing. You can soar with the other person, rising together, independently but with the same goal of elevating your relationship. Not in like, a relationship escalator, but more in a sense that things are changing, and these are the things we want.
Part of rising into love, is recognizing what is happening physically. Oxytocin, the love hormone, Vasopressin the hormone that helps with bonding and trust, Dopamine, the pleasure hormone, Serotonin the mood stabilizer, and Norepinephrine the hormone that helps with arousal. These are all chemicals that are released when you are in love. We of course aren't mere machines, with hormones turning things on and off, but these hormones definitely help.
My love, used a German phrase, "Ich kann dich nicht riechen" I can't smell you. This is a phrase that is used to describe someone that you just can't stand. It's not that they smell bad, but that you just can't stand them. There is still ongoing debate if pheremones are actually a thing for humans, but with this phrase, I can definitely smell her, and I love it.
Just yesterday, I had a video call with the newly renegotiatiod relationship, T I may call her. Will need something different for my German love, as I have two who share the same initial. Anyhow, I was really missing T, and she suggested the video call. It took us like, two hours of missing each other, between laundry and dishes and dinner and kids, but eventually we were able to connect. Talked about a social media post, how I kinda wished she had been a bit more bold, to kinda save me from this next bit.
I told her that I could, unabashedly, without question, say that I love her. And I had done for probably quite some time. She immediately came back to me, with the same. We love each other, and we are rising into love, together.